A Truth
by MugglebornWitchofLothlorien
Summary: When Morgana admits her suspicions of magic to Merlin, what if he'd told her the truth? Eventual Mergana.
1. The Nightmare Begins

**I wrote a Merlin fic about the return of Arthur last year, and this is the first fanfiction I've written since. I hope it's good! A note on the content. This starts in 'The Nightmare Begins', and lasts all episode. Two scenes are taken almost directly from the episode, with small adjustments, but it's not too many. I plan to have each chapter be an episode until the AU separates too much from canon, and then they'll just be periods of time.**

 **Anyway, enjoy!**

* * *

"It's magic, Merlin," she whispered. Saying it made it seem more real.

"What?" he asked, his expression unreadable.

"We're friends, you know I wouldn't make this up," she said beseechingly.

"Of course," he agreed.

"Then you believe me?" she asked, her relief more extreme than any she'd had before. He was silent, shifting. His expression couldn't be read, not by her anyway. "You think it's magic too?" she asked. "Please, Merlin, I just need to hear someone say it, so I don't have to keep feeling like I'm imagining it." She looked at him imploringly. What was he thinking?

Merlin nodded slightly, almost imperceptibly. Morgana watched him carefully, scared of what he would think.

"I think-" he started, "I think you're right." Morgana let out a breath she hadn't realized she'd been holding. Her breathing was shaking, and each heartbeat felt like the drums before an execution. For what felt like eternity, neither spoke. Morgana couldn't phrase what she wanted to ask. Finally, she looked up at the servant, her friend.

"Will you tell Uther?" Her voice was low and unwavering. It was a simple, sincere question, the answer to which would decide her fate.

Merlin stared at Morgana. She waited. "No, of course not!" he exclaimed. "Why would I do that?"

"You're Arthur's servant, a servant in the house of Uther," Morgana said as if it was obvious. "You have every justification for telling him!" Merlin shook his head, shocked.

"Mor- My lady, do you remember the boy we sheltered and cared for?" She smiled at the memory and nodded. Merlin continued. "I didn't turn him in then, and he was a stranger. You're my friend, as you already confirmed. If there is a traitor, it is only Uther."

Morgana looked at Merlin with surprise. She hadn't realized he felt so strongly opposed to Uther. Why? Another question, "Why don't I frighten you?" she asked. He frowned, not understanding. "So many of Uther's subjects are frightened by magic. Not you."

Merlin shook his head. "No, not me, my lady." He seemed to think carefully of his next words. "I've seen magic used for good. Far more than for bad."

"I think…" Morgana started, unsure of how to say it, and if she dared. Merlin's kindness encouraged her. "I think that magic is neither good nor evil. I think it is only as bad as the person wielding it."

"You're wise beyond your years, my lady," Merlin said, half teasing, half serious. Morgana smiled for the first time.

"Thank you, Merlin," she said sincerely. "For listening, and helping me. I knew I could trust you."

"Always," Merlin said immediately.

Morgana turned to leave, but remembered something and looked back at Merlin. "You know Merlin, I have a name. You could use it." With that, she swept out of Gaius's chambers and down the hall. Merlin smiled after her.

"What's the matter with you?" Gaius asked when he returned a moment later, suspicious every time Merlin smiled.

"Hmm? Nothing. Everything. Sorry, what?" Gaius eyed him.

"Don't you have chores for Arthur?" he asked.

Merlin shrugged. "I can do them tomorrow. Would you like some tea? I'll make you some tea." Ignoring Gaius's protestations, Merlin sat him forcibly in a chair and went about making tea. He hummed a merry dance he'd heard recently as the water boiled.

"Merlin," Gaius reproached.

"Hmm?" the boy asked, handing him a cup that Gaius had used to draw blood into. The physician stared at Merlin until he realized his mistake. The boy took the cup back and fetched two clean ones.

"You're humming," said the old doctor in an irritated voice. Merlin stopped abruptly. Gaius sighed and accepted the tea Merlin poured for him. "Why are you so cheerful?"

"What, I can't be cheerful?" Merlin asked as if hugely affronted. Before Gaius could get a word in, he continued his rant. "I'll have you know, I'm a very cheerful person. Just because I toil hour after hour for you and Arthur and duties in the palace doesn't mean I can't be happy and hum a little tune. In fact, it gives me more right to do so than-"

"Merlin!" Gaius interrupted. "I wasn't criticizing you. I was merely observing, and wondering why you aren't like this more often. I'm glad that you're cheerful, but please refrain from humming."

"Sorry," Merlin said guiltily. He let out a big, fake yawn. "Hmm, I'm knackered. Goodnight!" Forgetting what Gaius just told him, he hummed the cheery tune on his way from the table to his room. Gaius could hear it even when the door shut behind him. The old man turned back to his tea.

"What a strange boy," he commented to himself.

O0O0O0O

Merlin was polishing Arthur's boots when the prince and Sir Leon came in, discussing Morgana's attempted assassination, or what they thought of it anyway. Merlin listened, occasionally looking up. When Leon mentioned Druids, Merlin smiled slightly to himself. Before he'd spoken to Morgana, he'd thought that she could go to the Druids to learn of her magic. Now, there was no need.

It made him sad to hear that Arthur intended to arrest all of those people, but there was nothing he could do. Leon left.

"I thought I told you to do that yesterday," Arthur said.

"I didn't have time, I was cleaning the stables," Merlin said off the top of his head. Arthur nodded, but not in acceptance of that claim.

"That's strange, because a little bird told me you were somewhere else." Merlin rolled his eyes at the prince's back.

"Mucking out the stables is strange and a talking bird isn't?" he quipped. Arthur turned back around.

"Merlin, what have we said about you being funny?" Merlin shrugged. Arthur often told him not to try to be funny, but when did he ever listen to the prince? "Well?" Arthur asked.

"That I'm so much funnier than you and you're too much of a dungwallop to appreciate me," Merlin said before he thought. Arthur stopped what he was doing.

"Dung wallop?" Merlin cowered a bit before his gaze and shrugged with a small, apologetic grin. Arthur rolled his eyes and continued undressing. "So where are my flowers?"

"Your flowers?" Merlin asked, his heart beating faster.

"I heard Morgana got some," Arthur said. "I assumed you'd be putting them in all the rooms." Merlin inwardly groaned, and outwardly opened his mouth to think of some excuse. "Or is she the only one to receive a token of your affections," Arthur finished with traces of a smile.

"Yes," Merlin said. Arthur raised his chin and his smile widened. "Uh, no, no. Uh, what? It's not a token of anything, affection or otherwise."

Arthur clearly wasn't buying his story. "I see. So why were you trying to hide them from me yesterday?"

"Er, well, I wasn't," Merlin stammered. He scrubbed the boots harder. "I mean, I was, I just didn't want you to get the wrong impression." All this time he was talking, he could be spending teaching Morgana how to control her magic.

Arthur finally dismissed Merlin after more interrogation, and he raced off to find Morgana. Halfway to her room, he realized that he needed an excuse for being there, so he ran back to Gaius's chambers. Merlin quickly mixed together a sleeping draught for Morgana from how he'd seen Gaius do it and sprinted up through the castle. He skidded to a stop in front of her door and knocked.

Morgana opened it. She'd been crying, and still there were tears glistening in her eyes. He frowned at her tears. She stepped aside and he entered. "I have a potion from Gaius," he said.

"I don't want any more potions," she snapped, then immediately slumped on the open door as if it could hold her up. "I'm sorry. You were kind to me and I'm yelling at you. It's usually Gwen who has to deal with me when I'm like this." She crossed away from him to look out the window, but he could tell her mind was somewhere else.

"I don't mind," Merlin said. "Maybe I could help?"

Morgana almost laughed. "I doubt that."

"You'd be surprised," he said quietly, shutting the door. Morgana turned around to look at him, shock on her face. He was debating very hard with himself and it was plain to see on his face. "I understand," he said finally. "I realize how frightening all this must be for you, especially for you.

"How can you understand?" Morgana asked, going up to him angrily. "This, what's been happening to me, _magic,_ how could you understand any of that?" Merlin bowed his head and was silent. Morgana paced back to the window. "I'm sorry," she apologized. "Here you are, being kind to me and humoring my insanity, and I'm just yelling at you."

Merlin looked up at Morgana. Her back was turned to him. "Close the window," he said suddenly. Morgana turned around. Something in his face made her lock the shutters. Nobody could see in now. "Morgana, I do understand," Merlin said. She looked back at him and shook her head almost imperceptibly. He nodded calmly, then held a closed fist toward her. She stayed where she was.

He opened the fist and in it was a small fire, burning on his palm, yet he appeared to feel no pain. Morgana shook her head and took a step back. She was now against the wall. It wasn't fright on her face exactly. Something else.

"You have magic," she said with a shuddering breath. Merlin nodded. "That's why you're helping me," she realized.

"No," he said with certainty. "No Morgana, that isn't it at all. I'm helping you because you're my friend and you're scared. I'm helping you because I'm the only one who _can_ help you." Morgana slowly approached Merlin and looked at the fire in his hand.

"You have control over your magic," she commented, looking up into his eyes. He nodded.

"You can too. I can teach you."

Morgana stared at Merlin. "We live in Uther's castle! Teaching me here would be asking for death!"

"Not if nobody knew," Merlin said. Morgana hardly dared believe that they could manage it. Merlin seemed so confident. How had he mastered magic? Was it before he came here? Even if it was, how could he live with Gaius and not reveal it?

"Maybe you could teach me in Gaius's chambers," Morgana asked. "He must know about your magic. He's closest to you by far."

Merlin nodded. "He does know. He's the only one. But," he shifted uncomfortably, "I haven't exactly told him that I told you it was magic."

"No?" Morgana asked. "Why not?" She frowned. "Why didn't he tell me? Wouldn't he know?" Merlin nodded slightly. "Then why didn't he tell me!"

"He thought it would be best," Merlin said lamely, "that if you knew, you'd be in greater danger."

"That's not his decision to make!" Morgana shouted. Merlin nodded and bowed his head. The fire in his palm went out. She touched his arm. "I'm sorry Merlin, I'm not angry with you. Just with Gaius and Uther and Arthur, and everyone else who thinks they can govern my life."

Merlin looked at where Morgana's hand touched his arm. She drew it away quickly, but Merlin caught her wrist and lightly held it. She didn't move to free it. "I can teach you," he whispered. "Not in the castle, though. There are places in the woods where patrols don't go."

"I'll never be let out of the castle alone," Morgana told him. Merlin released her wrist and scratched his head, thinking. "Unless I had someone with me," she said. "A trusted servant of the prince to watch over me." Merlin stared at her. "Come now, it's not that bad an idea. If you have a better one, I'd love to hear it."

Merlin was silent. He opened his mouth once or twice, but quickly closed it. "That's settled then," Morgana said. "Tomorrow, I shall have a yearning to… collect flowers, and you shall accompany me."

"Nobody will believe that if we make it a regualar occurance," Merlin said doubtfully.

"We'll cross that bridge when we come to it," Morgana snapped. He blinked and took a step back. In a gentler voice, she said, "I need your help, Merlin, and I need it soon."

"I'm glad to be able to help you," he replied honestly. "Tomorrow?"

"After breakfast. I'll meet you at the stables," Morgana promised. "And I'll tell something to Arthur so he doesn't pine for you." Merlin laughed. Arthur would never pine, certainly not for him.

"Sleep well, my lady," he said, backing toward the door. He opened it and looked back. Morgana raised her hand in farewell.

"Goodnight, Merlin." He pulled the door shut behind him.

O0O0O

The next morning, Merlin hurried his early chores and prepared breakfast for Arthur faster than ever before. The prince was still asleep when he came in, so Merlin stood at the foot of his bed and said cheerily.

"Good morning, sire! Sleep well?" A pillow came flying at him, which he didn't have to duck. Arthur was terribly uncoordinated in the morning. A mumble came from the area of Arthur's head. "I've made your breakfast, so you'd better get dressed," Merlin said.

Arthur groaned. "Early," he mumbled. "Fired." Merlin went so far as to pull the covers off the bed.

"Up!" Arthur finally woke, changed, and breakfasted. There was a knock at the door. Arthur gestured for Merlin to get it. It was Gwen.

"She's waiting for you in the stables," she whispered to Merlin. He smiled and bowed out to Arthur.

"Guinevere!" Arthur said, clearly pleased to see her. She curtseyed.

"My lord. Morgana sent me to tell you that she wants to pick some flowers, so she's taking Merlin with her. She says that he has a better eye for beauty than anyone else in the palace." Arthur scoffed.

"If that's true, then why doesn't he polish my armor correctly?" Gwen was silent. Arthur went closer to her to retrieve the sword that lay on the table behind her. "I'm sorry, I know you're friends."

Gwen nodded. "Yes, we are, but you don't have to be sorry, my lord. All Lady Morgana said was what I just told you, so if that's all-"

"Guinevere," Arthur complained, grabbing her wrist as she turned. She looked at his hand, then at him.

"Yes, my lord?" Arthur studied her face for a moment, then released her arm.

"Nothing. Thank you for telling me." He sighed dramatically. "Now I have nobody to argue with."

"You could argue with me," Gwen suggested.

Arthur laughed, but shook his head. "I could never argue with you, Guinevere. I respect you too much."

"So you don't respect Morgana and Merlin?" Gwen asked.

"I respect Morgana," Arthur said, "But she's like a sister to me; we're expected to quarrel. And no, I don't respect Merlin."

Gwen shook her head. "I think you do."

"I don't," Arthur said stubbornly.

"And you said you could never argue with me," Gwen told him with a triumphant grin. Arthur gaped at her.

"Now- you- et tu, Brute?" Gwen looked at him in confusion, not understanding the reference. Arthur shook his head and stood there, towering over Gwen for a moment, wanting to lean down- No. He was prince, and it was unseemly for a prince to court a servant. Even so, they were in his private chambers. Nobody would come in.

"Sire, is that a-" Arthur leaned down and kissed Guinevere. She was too shocked to do anything, but after a moment, she stood on her toes and kissed him back. He pulled away and she fell back, stunned.

"Thank you, Guinevere," he said gruffly. "That will be all." She curtseyed and fled his room.

O0O0O

Merlin and Morgana road out of the city and into the fields where they were supposed to be picking flowers. However, Merlin continued into the woods, and Morgana followed. He finally stopped in a clearing deep into the woods, where nobody would accidentally stumble. "The patrols have already passed this area," he told her, dismounting. She did so as well.

"What will you teach me?" Morgana asked, her eyes wide with anticipation. "I mean, what is there to know? I'm very ignorant in the ways of magic."

"That doesn't matter, so was I," Merlin said. "All I could do was just natural, instinctive stuff. But Gaius gave me a book of spells. I've been learning from it myself ever since." He pulled the book out of his satchel and handed it to Morgana. She opened it carefully and looked through the pages.

"It's written in an old tongue," she noted. "I've never learned it, but somehow-"

"You can read it?" Merlin guessed. "Me too. Some people have to learn magic, but both of us were born with it. This is the language of the Old Religion."

Morgana stopped flipping through at one page. She put her hand over the ground, holding the book with her other, and said, " _blówan._ " A tiny sprout struggled to overcome the heavy leaves. Finally it broke the surface and blossomed. Inside was a pretty purpleish-blue flower; a crocus. Merlin stared at it. Morgana looked at him uncertainly. "Is it not good?"

"Morgana, that's incredible!" he exclaimed. "Do you know how long something like that would take another person?" She beamed at him.

"Really!"

Merlin shook his head in disbelief. "This is going to be easier than I thought. But first, I think I should teach you to control fire, since that seems to be what you have the least control over and the most tendency to create." Morgana nodded. She put the book in her saddle bag and they began.

Merlin taught her how to start a fire, how to make it bigger, how to quench it, and how to make it smaller. Just as he was about to move on to lighting things other than candles, such as cloth, he noticed that the light was dimming.

"We have to get back before dark or Uther will send out a search party," Morgana said in a worried tone. Merlin nodded and helped her onto her horse, but she didn't need any help. In their hurry, she forgot that his book of magic was still in her saddle bag.

The horses cantered into the lower town just as the sun fell beneath the city walls. Arthur ran up to Morgana. "Where have you been? Father's worried sick! And you, _Merlin,_ he'll have your head for this!"

"Arthur," Morgana interrupted. "Our lateness is no fault of Merlin's. You see, I fell while searching for flowers and fainted. Merlin revived me and treated my wound."

"Gaius is here, he could have treated it," Arthur reminded her. Morgana nodded and thought quickly.

"Yes, but you see, he was terribly worried it would get infected. You see, we had to find a stream to wash it in, and that took up much of the day." Morgana's lie seemed to convince Arthur, or at least subdue him momentarily.

"You must be tired, I'm sorry. Please, go up and rest. Gwen can bring you some food." Morgana dismounted and gave him a short, sarcastic curtsy.

"Thank you for that privilege, I'm overjoyed." She looked back at Merlin momentarily with a smile. "Thank you, Merlin. For helping me." He bowed and she disappeared into the castle. He was about to follow her when Arthur cleared his throat.

Merlin turned back to his prince. "Is that all, my lord?" he asked.

"As a matter of fact, no, it is not," Arthur said with a smile that made Merlin wish not for the first time that he lived a simple life as a peasant, not the servant of the prince. "In your long, eventful day away, you've forgotten to wash my clothes, polish my armor, muck out my horses, and make up my bed. When you're finished with that, you'll have to undress me. And I think I'm a bit hungry yet." Merlin was too tired even to sigh. He turned and led his horse into the stable. Merlin took his satchel off the horse and looked in it. His book wasn't there. He checked all the saddlebags. Where could it be? Merlin looked with dismay at the stables where the nobles' horses were kept. If anyone found it, he was dead and she was- if not dead, at least banished. Uther wouldn't repeal his ban on magic, not even for his beloved ward.

Merlin remembered that Arthur had told him to muck out his horses, but they weren't near Morgana's gelding. He'd have to risk being seen. He walked with confidence to her horse where a stable hand was just loosening the girth.

"Do you want help?" he asked. "I know it's a lot of work." The stable hand almost blushed.

"Thank you mightily, sir. I'm honored though, sir, to be tending to the great lady Morgana's own horse. I never much fancy women, but I'll be darned if she ha'n't gone and taken my breath clean away. Most beautiful creature at court, that lady, in the world, I dare say. Pardon me, sir, I know it's rude of me to speak of her Highness like she'd ever fall to the likes of me."

"Morgana is a very kind woman," Merlin said, only partly to the stable boy, mostly to himself. "She'll be good to anyone she meets."

"Eh, eh, and a pretty lady. Don't you think so, sir?"

Merlin laughed at the boy as he took the saddle off the horse, the one thing he needed. "How could I not? Of course she is. I'll take this to the tack room, along with the bride and girth, when you've finished. Arthur will be wanting to sleep."

"Of course, I'm awful so sorry," the hand apologized. "You go on. I should'na have asked ya in the first place." Merlin clapped him on the shoulder and took the extremities to the tack room. Alone, he slipped the book into his bag and quickly mucked out the stalls for Arthur's horses, then raced up to put Arthur to bed.

"What's that you've got there?" Arthur asked, pointing to Merlin's bag. He hadn't had time to drop it off in his room.

"Nothing, sire. Just a book of herbs and flowers, very boring," he lied. Arthur tried to go closer to it, but Merlin still had a grip on his nightshirt and held him back long enough to disguise the book with his magic.

"Idiot," Arthur murmured when Merlin let him go, and found the book in the bag. When he opened it, he did indeed find a book that wasn't a spellbook, but it wasn't of herbs and flowers, either. "Poetry?" Arthur asked Merlin incredulously. "You brought poetry on your trip with Morgana to a field to pick flowers? Don't think I didn't notice that neither of you returned with any, Merlin."

"That was just in my saddle, a hand must have accidentally had it," Merlin lied, but Arthur saw through it.

"This can't go on," he said. "You can't court her. She's the king's ward, he'd never allow her to stoop so low as to marry you."

Merlin frowned. "I know," he said.

"You can't be friends," Arthur continued, not knowing who he was talking about anymore. "She's a servant and you're a-" Merlin looked at him sharply. Arthur sighed. "Go to bed, Merlin. You know what I meant to say." Merlin didn't move. Arthur sighed heavily. "It's been a long day. Please, Merlin, just obey me for once. You can't keep seeing her like this. Neither of you understand how dangerous it is."

Merlin almost laughed at how ridiculous that sounded. Their lives may just be spared if the king thought they were merely sharing a bed. If anyone knew the truth…

"Goodnight, my lord," Merlin said. Arthur nodded and waved him away. Merlin retired to his bedchamber, but couldn't sleep. He lay still, staring at the ceiling. Somewhere above him, Morgana was sleeping. She wouldn't dream tonight, Merlin somehow knew. Those days were behind her.

O0O0O

But he was wrong. Morgana did dream, but for the first time in years, it was a good dream.

 _Morgana walked along the path through the woods. They seemed bright and welcoming. Little crocuses pushed up through the thick forest floor and light spilled in golden clumps among the trees. She walked until a tent appeared. Then another, then there was a whole camp of tents. The little boy she'd sheltered a year ago walked in front of her._

" _Mordred," she said with a smile, somehow knowing his name. He smiled at her, his solemn face softening._

" _Hello, Morgana."_

" _Where are we, Mordred?" she asked. He gestured around, and suddenly the tents started to grow. They grew into sturdy stone houses, even better built than the ones in Camelot's outlying villages._

" _Safe," he said. "There is nobody to hurt us. Aglain says that we can build permanent shelters because the king no longer hunts us."_

" _Aglain?" Morgana asked. A tall, dark-skinned man emerged from one of the new houses. He was clothed in long, red robes. The Druid smiled at her._

" _Morgana. Mordred speaks of you often. He tells stories of your kindness toward him after the death of Cenred." Morgana nodded, inclining her head. Someone put their hand under her chin and raised it. She looked into the face of a young man. His hair was black and his eyes an icy blue. Mordred was gone. Wait- no he wasn't. This man was him._

" _You bow to no one, Morgana le Fay," he said proudly. "We rejoice that we may call you our Saviour. You and Emrys saved us from the struggle we faced for so long. Thank you, Morgana."_

"Emrys?" Morgana asked aloud. Gwen came into her room, already awake with the sun.

"Morgana?" she asked. The woman lay in her bed still, a strange sight for Gwen. Usually, this was the time for a fit in her dream state. To Gwen's surprise, Morgana smiled softly.

"Thank you," she said surprisingly clearly. "The king- he welcomes you. Come back with me, I will protect you." Gwen left her. She was sleeping well, and deserved to.

" _Your kindness is too great," Mordred protested._

" _Nonsense, there's no such thing," she told him. "Come, a High Priestess of Avalon will never be accused of being a bad host."_

" _Impossible," said a voice. Behind her was an old man. His robes were red. His hair was white, and his smoothly combed beard hung long. "Mordred, take her up on it. You've never before dined the the splendor of a fully inhabited Avalon. There will be delicacies from all of Albion, not to mention the company she keeps." The old man grinned a surprisingly impish grin at Mordred, and Morgana wondered if he truly was as old as he looked._

" _Her company is unquestionably great," Aglain agreed. He knelt low to the old man. "My lord Emrys."_

"Emrys?" Morgana asked again. "Who are you?" She woke herself and sat up. Sun shone through the windows, which she reflected as odd. What time was it?

"Oh, my lady, you're awake," Gwen said as if she was surprised.

"What time is it?" Morgana asked.

"Nearly midday," was the answer.

Morgana smiled and laid back in bed. "That was the best sleep I've had in days. How are you, Gwen? Did you get some extra rest?" Gwen nodded.

"Yes, thank you, m'lady." By which, she meant that she'd sat down while mending the dress Morgana had worn yesterday in the woods. It had gotten caught on something and torn. "Have you any idea why you slept so well?"

"None," Morgana said, but she did. It was the newfound peace Merlin had given her, and control over her power. "I suppose all the excitement yesterday wore me out." Gwen had heard the story, but Morgana showed no sign of injury.

"Whatever it was, you should do more often," Gwen suggested. "Merlin really enjoyed himself. He didn't tell me, but I could tell."

"I'm glad," Morgana said honestly. "I did too. He's good company." She was jarringly reminded of her dream and of the mysterious Emrys. "I only mean that he's funny and makes good conversation," she quickly amended.

"Of course, my lady," Gwen agreed. "He's a good friend."

Morgana looked up at Gwen. The servant was waiting by her wardrobe. "I think I'll stay in bed a bit longer. I can dress myself when it comes to that. Please, take some time to yourself. I'll come to you if I need anything." Gwen curtseyed, surprised, but she obeyed and left. Morgana rose and looked out the window into the courtyard below, thinking of Emrys.


	2. Lancelot and Guinevere

**Wow, my chapters are getting longer. I rushed to finish this one today because there's something I need to say. This chapter is dedicated to Carrie Fisher, one of my favorite people and heroes. She died today, and this is what I can think of to honor her. Not that she reads Merlin fanfiction, she probably didn't, but just putting something out there to respect her. Sorry for making you all sad.**

* * *

Merlin watched Morgana, Gwen, and several guards ride out of the courtyard. He'd been training Morgana regularly for three weeks, but this trip of hers broke their tradition. He struggled to carry Arthur's crossbow and target down the palace steps.

"Where are they going?" he asked as if he didn't know.

"Morgana's on a pilgrimage to her father's grave," Arthur said, taking his crossbow from Merlin's shoulder. He looked after the party, his expression pining.

Morgana glanced back and met Merlin's eye from the drawbridge. She smiled a goodbye. She was so focused on him that she didn't notice Gwen and Arthur not being able to tear their gazes away. Merlin raised his hand in a gesture of farewell and Morgana turned back around. She and Gwen rode in silence until they were deep in the woods.

"You look troubled, Gwen," Morgana finally said. The servant in question looked up in surprise.

"I'm fine," she laughed.

Morgana didn't let it drop. "You're very secretive these days," she pressed. "I'm beginning to think there's a man involved." Gwen laughed nervously.

"When do I get to meet any decent men," she asked rhetorically. There was silence once more. Suddenly, a shout rose out of the woods. On either side of the path, bandits charged down the hill. The women were trapped by the horses and their riders battling all around.

"My ladies!" exclaimed Sir Bors. "You must follow me!" He slouched forward and Morgana and Gwen could see an arrow protruding from his back. Two men pulled them off their horses, but both managed to pull away from them.

"Gwen!" Morgana called. "Head for the path, go!" The women ran up the hill and away from the fray. Morgana was so panicked, she forgot what Merlin had taught her the week before; throwing off attackers. A horse appeared from the trees. Its rider dismounted and blocked their path. "I warn you," Morgana said, trying not to betray her fright. "I am Uther Pendragon's ward. He'll have your heads if any harm comes to me!"

At that moment, Morgana remembered her newfound power. But Gwen was right there. She couldn't.

O0O0O

"You can at least turn your backs!" Morgana snapped to the leader of the bandits as she tossed aside her dress.

"So you can make a run for it while I'm not looking?" he asked. "You think I'm that stupid?"

"I think you're very stupid," Morgana said. Gwen took the opportunity to draw his sword. When he was distracted, Morgana bunched him in the nose and he fell back. Gwen tossed the sword to her and she set to work, doing what she knew. Years of training alongside Arthur paid off as Morgana slashed with the blade. Any bandit that came near her got a sword in his arm, including their leader. He held his arm in shock. "Run!" Morgana shouted. She and Gwen turned and sprinted down along the stream and into the woods.

Gwen went down, but Morgana corrected her direction. She was ahead of her servant, but let Gwen pass her. Morgana turned around and extended her hand, whispering a spell. A vine tripped the leader of the bandits, buying them time. Another was gaining on them, though. Morgana caused a branch to snap back into his eyes.

Gwen suddenly cried out in pain. Morgana caught up to her. She was clutching her ankle. "Put your arm around my shoulder," Morgana ordered. Gwen tried, but couldn't stand. Morgana looked back at the men who were gaining on them, despite her efforts.

"No, no, we'll never outrun them. You must go on without me," Gwen told her, trying not to show all the pain she felt.

"I'm not leaving you behind!" Morgana exclaimed. She could kill those men, but then Gwen would see.

"Morgana, go, please, you must get help," Gwen said. After a moment, Morgana nodded. She handed Gwen the sword.

"Take this."

"Go!" Gwen shouted. Morgana ran off through the woods. She turned back, but none of her spells worked. She could see Gwen fighting off the attackers, but they overpowered her. Morgana kept running. She didn't stop until Arthur appeared from behind a tree, pointing his crossbow at her. She gasped, her breathing not slowing.

"Where's Guinevere?" Arthur asked, looking around. She tried not to cry. Merlin's eyes met hers.

 _I couldn't use magic,_ she cried in his head. _I tried, and I did, but when she needed it-_ Merlin nodded. They could talk later. Morgana shook her head at Arthur. She could see shock going through his face, then despair.

Merlin came up to Morgana and put a blanket around her bare shoulders. She wrapped it around herself gratefully. "We have to look for her," she said, looking around at the men. "Send word back to Camelot that we need all the knights and guards, we can raid the bandit camp-"

"Sire, our orders were to retrieve the lady Morgana," a knight reminded Arthur. "That's all. These bandits slaughtered her guard; they know how to fight."

"I was under the impression that knights of Camelot should know how to fight as well," Morgana snapped, glaring at the knight. What was his name? Kay?

"Morgana," Merlin whispered. She looked at him, still angry. "We'll get her back," he promised. "But come back to Camelot. The forces are scattered looking for you. When they reconvene, then we'll be able to rescue her." Morgana relaxed.

"Thank you, Merlin," she said pointingly at Arthur.

Merlin had to give up his horse so Morgana could ride back, but he walked beside her and they had a chance to talk. _I understand not wanting to do magic for fear of being discovered,_ Merlin said, _but sometimes you have to take that risk._

 _I know,_ Morgana said despairingly. _But Merlin, I did the magic. I tripped one man and hit another with a branch, all with magic. But then when I left Gwen, my magic was gone. I couldn't use it. Why?_

Merlin frowned. _I'm not sure. Maybe you were very worked up; in fact, I'm sure you were._ Morgana nodded, affirming his assumption. _You've only been training for a few weeks. There is no way you can have complete control yet. But you're doing very well. I'm very proud of your progress._ Morgana had to smile at that. Merlin looked up and saw her smile. He returned it. Beside them, Arthur watched the two carefully. He'd told Merlin that he couldn't have Morgana, yet that hadn't deterred him. Then again, here Arthur was, already planning how he would rescue Gwen. Surely it was different.

O0O0O

"How can you live with yourselves?" Morgana demanded. Gaius moved toward her, but Merlin was there first. He gently took her arms and she fought him off halfheartedly. Her anger was in her words and glare, both directed at Arthur and Uther. "All of you!" Merlin managed to guide Morgana out into the hall. She let out a cry of frustration. "How dare they!" she exclaimed. "Gwen is my friend! A far better friend than any of those nobles, yet Uther would send out parties for them in an instant!"

"Morgana-" Merlin started. She ignored him.

"And Arthur! I thought he cared for Gwen! But no, apparently not. Where are you taking me?" Merlin was leading her out of the way of the doors to the Great Hall so that the court wouldn't see her tantrum. He took her into the servant's stairwell and let her continue. "I'm going to confront him, convince him to go after her," she said with a new resolve. Merlin released her and she ran out without a second glance."

Morgana stormed into Arthur's chamber. He was unbuckling his cuff and barely looked up when she came in. "How can you be so heartless?" she demanded. "Gwen is the most kind, loyal person that you could ever meet and she's been more than a friend to all of us and you would leave her at the mercy of those those animals?"

"Morgana," Arthur tried to interrupt.

"Have you no shame?" she continued. "Do you think of no one but yourself?"

"Morgana," Arthur tried again.

"I knew you were many things, Arthur Pendragon, but I didn't know you were a gutless coward!"

"Morgana!" Arthur exclaimed, finally getting her to stop talking. "Perhaps if you would stop shouting at me for one second, you would notice that I am packing!" Her mouth quivered and she bit her lip guiltily.

"You're going after Gwen," she realized in a gentler tone.

"Of course I'm going after her, what do you take me for? I couldn't disagree with Father in public." He slung the bag over his shoulder and passed Morgana, going to the door of his room.

"Arthur?" Morgana called after him. They both turned around to face each other. "Take me with you," she begged.

"No," he said with finality. "It's hard enough for the prince to sneak out, but if he went with the king's ward? The one who was just kidnapped? No way, Morgana."

"Then I'll just sneak out on my own," she threatened.

Arthur sighed. "I can have you locked up and put under constant guard."

"I know you can, Arthur, but you won't," Morgana said. He frowned slightly, which she took as an invitation to continue. "Because you owe me. When we were 13, we were playing in the woods and you left me there to play with your friends. I was bitten by a snake. A servant found me and brought me back. So there, you owe me."

Arthur groaned. "I'm going to regret this." Morgana beamed.

"I'll be ready in five minutes."

Exactly five minutes later, Morgana met Arthur outside Gaius's chambers, dressed for riding and carrying a bag. Merlin slipped out and looked at her in surprise. Arthur gave him a face that clearly said, 'don't ask.' Merlin didn't.

The three crouched behind a wagon and looked at the exit from the city. "You distract the guards, I'll get the horses," Arthur whispered, then snuck off to the stables. Merlin and Morgana looked at each other.

Morgana looked at a barrel. She whispered an incantation, and it started to roll to the guards. They noticed and backed away slowly. It sprung upright. Merlin grinned at Morgana.

"Swefé," he whispered. All of the barrels rolled at once toward the guards. They hit them, and soon the guards were lying on the pavement, unconscious.

"What did you do?" Arthur demanded when he returned. "I said distract them, not knock them out!"

"There's just no pleasing you sometimes," Merlin said with an incredulous look at Arthur. Morgana bit back a laugh at the two friends.

"Hurry," she encouraged, mounting the horse provided for her. Merlin and Arthur both mounted as well and they all rode off northwest toward Mercia.

Arthur and Morgana kept a hard pace, one which Merlin struggled to match. At one point, he fell asleep in his saddle. Morgana pulled her horse up along side his and held Merlin upright. They continued like that until finally the sun set and Arthur allowed them to rest.

Morgana couldn't sleep. She went to refill her waterskin. When she returned, Arthur was having a bad dream. She crawled over to him and shook him awake. "Arthur!"

"Guinevere!" he called. "No, leave her! Take me!" Morgana shook harder and Arthur was jerked awake. He looked around in shock, not realizing where he was. When he saw Morgana, Arthur hugged her instinctively. Morgana was surprised, but returned the gesture of affection. "You were just dreaming," she said.

"It felt so real," he whispered, careful not to wake Merlin. Arthur took a shuddering breath. "Morgana, do you think she's dead?"

"No," she answered with certainty. "No, I don't, and neither do you. We both know her, and I think we both love her." Arthur looked up at her, but there was no surprise on his face. It answered for him. Morgana kissed his cheek. "We'll get her back. Can you sleep?" He shook his head.

"How long was I out?"

"Only an hour, you should sleep."

"Did you get any sleep?" Arthur asked. She shook her head. "Rest," he ordered. Morgana obediently crawled into her bedroll. After much tossing and turning, she fell asleep.

To wake Merlin, Arthur emptied his waterskin on the boy. Merlin spluttered awake. "How long was I asleep?" he asked.

"Long enough," Arthur answered. Merlin looked around. Everything was cleaned up, except for Morgana. She was still asleep.

"What, she can sleep and I can't?" Merlin demanded. Arthur nodded. Merlin sighed and stood. "Did you get some rest?"

"I couldn't sleep," was the answer. Merlin humphed and sat up, pushing his blanket back.

"I've never seen you like this about anyone," he said.

Arthur looked at him with a frown, fixing straps on his saddle. "What are you talking about?" he asked snappily.

"Gwen," Merlin answered simply. Arthur looked at him briefly, then went back to what he was doing. "You really care about her, don't you?" Arthur finished and went to untie the horse.

"What I care about is not wasting any more time talking. Let's get moving. Wake Morgana." Merlin put his blanket into his back and went to Morgana. She was able to quickly get her things together and soon they were moving again.

O0O0O

"You are not getting me to rub that on myself," Morgana snapped.

"Morgana, please, it's the only way to pass through the tunnels," Arthur begged. As if to assure her it was safe, he slathered the gaja berries over his face, the gave Merlin a pointed look. The servant wrinkled his nose, but did so also. Morgana made a face, but took a handful and rubbed them over her exposed skin.

"These stink!" Morgana exclaimed.

"Perhaps you'd prefer to be eaten alive, would you?" Arthur asked. Morgana glared at him and rubbed the berries on her face. They entered the tunnels.

Arthur heard the Wilddeoren coming toward them, so the three lay behind a stalagmite and kept completely still. One of the beasts lumbered over to Merlin and investigated. Wilddeoren-boogies dripped from his face. It found nothing interesting and left down a tunnel. Arthur stood up and looked at Merlin in amusement. Only Morgana was kind enough to take a handkerchief from her belt and wipe the snot from his face.

"Thank you," Merlin mumbled. They continued. Finally they emerged by a clear stream. All three gratefully knelt in it and washed the disgusting scent from their faces.

"The gaja berries worked," Arthur said pensively. Merlin stared at him.

"You didn't know if they worked?"

"Not for sure," Arthur said with a shrug, as if it didn't matter. Merlin rose and stared at him incredulously.

"Now you tell me? 'What's that Wilddeoren eating?' 'It's alright, it's just Merlin.'" Arthur laughed at that. "Are you trying to get us all killed?" Merlin asked, not finding anything funny at the moment.

"I'm sorry. I shouldn't have risked Morgana's life like that," Arthur said in his smooth voice. Merlin glared at him. Morgana hit Arthur. "Or yours," he amended.

"Well," Merlin started lightly, "they do say love makes you do strange things." Arthur stopped putting his gloves on and looked at him.

"What are you talking about?"

"Why can't you just admit your feelings for Gwen?" Merlin asked. He obviously hadn't heard Morgana and Arthur's conversation last night. Arthur scoffed and continued cleaning up. "It's so obvious!" Merlin continued. "A blind man could see it! Is it really that hard to admit you like her? Just say it!"

"I can't!" Arthur exclaimed. He turned around and faced Merlin. Morgana felt like she'd intruded on something, but she stayed still. "How can I admit that I think about her all the time? Or that I care about her more than anyone? How can I admit that I don't know what I'll do if any harm comes to her?"

Merlin's joking face had sobered. Morgana stood up. "Why can't you?" she asked.

"Because nothing can ever happen between us!" Arthur replied. "To admit my feelings, knowing that, hurts too much."

"Who's to say nothing can happen?" Merlin pressed on.

"My father won't let me rescue a servant," Arthur said. "Do you honestly believe he'd let me marry one?"

"Your father won't be king forever," Morgana interjected. "When you're king, things can be different."

"I can't expect Guinevere to wait for me," Arthur said dejectedly. Morgana laughed and clasped Arthur's arm.

"She'll wait for you." Arthur looked into her certain eyes and turned away.

"Come on. We've got a long trek ahead." He strapped on his belt and started up the hill. Morgana fell in pace beside Merlin.

 _It's hard, for us,_ Morgana said. _Nobles, I mean, especially so close under Uther's gaze, to do as we please. Keep the company we please._

"Oh, and Merlin," Arthur said, turning around. "If you dare tell anyone about this, I promise, I will make your life a living hell." His gaze was serious, and Morgana was almost intimidated. Merlin, apparently, wasn't.

"You mean more than you already do?" he asked.

Arthur smiled in reaction to that. "Yeah," he answered simply, then turned around and kept walking.

"We could talk about your feelings while you walk!" Merlin called up to Arthur.

"Shut up, Merlin," Arthur and Morgana said at the same time. The rest of the journey was in silence, or so Arthur though. Morgana and Merlin were continuing their lessons, even if they were mostly theoretical. Merlin was telling Morgana some spells to practice later.

Finally Arthur motioned for them to stop. They peered through the bushes in front of them at a giant fortress. "We'll have to scale the walls," he said. Merlin stared at Arthur like he was crazy, but Morgana was up to the challenge.

"Maybe there's another way in," Merlin said.

"We can't just knock on the front gate, Merlin," Morgana pointed out.

"I'm sure if you ask nicely, they'll hand Guinevere right over to you," Arthur said sarcastically. Morgana shrugged at Merlin and followed the prince down the hill.

 _I think there's an easier way to doing this,_ Merlin told Morgana.

 _Are you sure?_ she asked. _We can't just go-_

 _I'm not going to knock on the front door,_ Merlin said with an eye roll. _There could be a drainage pipe or a waste chute. Every fortress has its weakness._ Morgana looked at him. He seemed so sure, so she nodded.

"Arthur, wait," she said. "Every fortress has its weakness. There must be some hidden entrance that doesn't involve scaling the walls. As much fun as that sounds, we wouldn't be much good to Gwen dead." Arthur sighed.

"What do you suggest?" While he was looking at Morgana, Merlin had the chance to scan the castle for weaknesses.

 _Rubbage chute,_ he told her.

"Perhaps a rubbage chute," she said. Merlin told her where, and she ran off to it, keeping close to the wall. Merlin and Arthur followed her until she stopped before a small opening.

"I am not crawling through that," Arthur said.

"And I'm not climbing a wall," she replied, just as stubbornly. He narrowed his eyes at her. Merlin looked between them, then pushed them away to enter the pipe. It was scarcely big enough for his small frame. Morgana followed him, then Arthur, who struggled because of his muscles and armor. Merlin finally tumbled onto the floor. He helped pull Morgana out, and they both tugged Arthur up. All of them were covered in compost.

"Guard room," Arthur said, pointing. Three guards sat, playing dice. "Distract them, I'll knock them out." He pushed Merlin into the room. After a minute of Merlin stammering, Arthur was able to punch two in the back of the head. Morgana got the third. The men stared at her. She shrugged.

"What, you thought I couldn't knock someone out? Really, Arthur, have you forgotten-"

"No, but you should," he interrupted. Merlin made a mental note to ask for the story from Morgana later. Now, they undressed the unconscious guards and donned their clothes. Morgana tucked her hair into the hood and put it up.

They heard loud shouts and cheers from downstairs. Arthur led them down, finally discovering the source of the noise. There was a large crowd in a small room. They all cheered at something in a cage. Morgana couldn't yet see what it was, but Merlin stiffened beside her. She moved forward to get a better view and saw what he and Arthur did.

Gwen and Lancelot sat back to back, their hands tied, in the cage. With them was a Wilddeoren. It sniffed around the edges of the cage, squealing. Without hesitation, Arthur raced up a stack of boxes and jumped into the cage, wielding his sword.

"Arthur!" Gwen exclaimed in surprise. He slashed the ropes binding her hands and Lancelot's, then faced the beast again. He tossed Lancelot a sword and they attacked it.

"What can we do?" Morgana asked Merlin. He pointed to the big man that seemed to be in charge of everything. He had fitted a crossbow with a bolt and was aiming it at the cage. Morgana made the chandelier above him fall. It didn't crush him, but another bandit as the big man jumped out of the way. Morgana drew another man's sword and jumped into the cage as well. She landed behind the Wilddeoren and got a good strike at its backside.

"The tunnel, it's our only chance," Arthur told his companions. Merlin jumped into the cage and they backed down the tunnel. Merlin was last. Lancelot joined him at the head of the tunnel.

"Take Guinevere," he ordered. "I'll hold them off."

"No," Gwen exclaimed, going back in his direction. Arthur and Morgana held her back.

"Guinevere, we have to go," Arthur said, pulling her down the tunnel. Alone, at least out of sight of Gwen and Arthur, Merlin did a spell of slicing. He cut the rope that held the gate open. It slid shut, leaving the host trapped in the cage with the beast.

"I see you're still up to your old tricks, Merlin," Lancelot commented. Morgana looked in surprise at the former knight who had lied about his identity.

"He knows?" she asked.

"She knows?" Lancelot asked in return.

"Merlin!" Arthur shouted. Lancelot and Morgana looked at each other suspiciously, but all followed Arthur and Guinevere down the tunnel. They stopped at the end, where a grating held them between freedom and death.

"Good to see you all," Lancelot said. "Where are your knights?" Arthur looked back momentarily from struggling with a chain that kept the grate shut.

"Just us," he said lightheartedly. "We've got to keep moving!" He successfully undid the chain. Morgana was going to help Gwen up, knowing that her ankle was injured, but Lancelot was there first. She watched as they shared a smile and as Lancelot brushed Gwen's fingers with his own. Morgana realized that Merlin, and more importantly Arthur, saw too. Gwen met Arthur's eyes and her smile faded. She ducked out of the exit, followed by Morgana and Merlin.

"Thank you, Arthur," Lancelot said before the knights left. "We owe you our lives." Arthur nodded and followed the others.

The small group made camp, but there was even less talking than there had been on the way there. Lancelot and Gwen sat together on a log, which Arthur didn't look too happy about. Lancelot finally broke the silence.

"I'm surprised you would undertake such a rescue mission with just the three of you." Arthur answered, fiddling with a twig.

"My father would not risk the lives of his knights for a servant," he said in a low voice. Arthur wouldn't meet Lancelot's steady gaze.

"And yet you disobeyed him and came here anyway?"

Arthur stayed silent, fiddling with something in his hand. After a moment he replied, "Truth is, I only came because Morgana begged me." Morgana looked at him sharply. Gwen had a betrayed countenance, and Merlin raised his eyebrows. Arthur looked at the ground, not meeting Gwen's eyes.

"I think I will get some rest," Gwen finally said. Morgana rose to go with her, but her servant didn't look at her.

"We should all get some rest," Arthur said.

"I'll stand guard for a while," Lancelot offered. Nobody acknowledged him. He went into the woods a bit, and Morgana ran after him. Merlin was left by the fire.

"I'll just, sit here then," he said lamely.

O0O0O

Lancelot was standing on a ridge when Morgana caught up to him. He turned around, surprised to see her. He'd have thought that Merlin would follow him. Maybe Gwen, or even Arthur, but not her.

"My lady," he greeted, bowing. She waved it away impatiently. "Is something troubling you, lady?" he asked. She nodded. There was something in her eyes that made Lancelot a little frightened.

"Yes, as a matter of fact. You knew about Merlin's magic?" she asked.

"Yes, since the Griffin was slain," Lancelot answered. "It wasn't me who killed it, it was Merlin's magic." He looked at her sharply. "If you don't mind me asking, my lady, how do you know?" At that moment, Merlin came trudging up to them. He caught the last part of the conversation.

 _Can he be trusted?_ Morgana asked Merlin. He nodded.

 _I trust him with my life._

With a deep breath, Morgana said, "I came to Merlin because I was scared of strange happenings. My dreams were coming true, fires were being started inexplicably, all manner of things. He told me that it was magic," Morgana said, watching Lancelot carefully. His eyes widened, but not with fear. It was merely surprise. "And in order to get me to trust him, he showed me his, also."

Lancelot took a deep breath. "I'm sorry for your predicament, my lady. It must not be easy, to be Uther's ward and Arthur's friend with magic." She shook her head.

"No, but Merlin is teaching me to control it," she said. Lancelot smiled at his friend, but another thought consumed his smile and took it away.

"Is it true that Arthur came to rescue Gwen because you begged him?" he asked. Merlin and Morgana were silent. "He has feelings for her, doesn't he?" Lancelot continued. His expression was unreadable until the silence gave it away. Deep disappointment was clear.

"What about you?" Merlin asked. "Do you have feelings for Gwen?" It was all Morgana could do not to hit Merlin. Of course he did!

"My feelings do not matter," Lancelot said. "I will not come between them." It seemed to pain him greatly to say so, but he didn't take it back.

"You truly are a noble knight," Morgana said. "I'm sorry that this has happened, and that it cannot be helped. All three of you deserve happiness, and I'm sorry you can't all have it."

Lancelot inclined his head. When he raised it, there was a sadness there, but the kind that one has gotten used to having, and accepted that they will have it always. "Tell Gwen-" He broke off suddenly as if a pain went through him. He winced and closed his eyes. Lancelot opened them again and started over. "Tell Gwen she has changed me forever, but some things cannot be." Morgana stepped forward and held Lancelot's arm.

"You're going?"

"I must," he answered. "It is best for everyone." He smiled at Morgana. "We'll meet again, I'm sure of it." She backed up so Merlin could say goodbye. They hugged. "Merlin, stay out of trouble," Lancelot teased again.

"Till the next time," he replied. Lancelot nodded, then bounded down the hill. There had been enough goodbyes. Merlin looked uncertainly at Morgana. She sighed and took his hand.

"It was for the best that he left," she told him. He nodded.

"I know. It just-" She was silent, letting him speak. "He's such a good friend. I'll miss him." Morgana hugged Merlin.

"He's lucky to have you," she said when she pulled away. "You're a good friend too, Merlin. We all are," she realized. "Lucky to have you, I mean. I don't think Arthur could get through this if you weren't here."

"He could," Merlin replied, surprised that she'd hugged him, and that she thought Arthur couldn't get through this.

Morgana sighed. "Have you ever been in love, Merlin?" she asked suddenly. He stammered out a 'No'. "Then you don't know how distraught men can be when their love finds another, even if she still loves them."

Merlin looked at her. "Then yes, you're very lucky to have me." He grinned even after Morgana hit him with her empty waterskin and left for the stream. Merlin went back down to the camp and got some rest.

He woke with the sun. Morgana and Gwen were asleep side by side, and Arthur was already up and packing. The prince was unusually silent this morning, but Merlin knew why. "Is he gone?" Arthur asked. Merlin knew who he was talking about.

"Yes," he answered. "Last night."

"We'll see him again," Arthur said. His expression was unreadable.

"Yes," Merlin agreed. "I hope so." Arthur didn't respond. He just went with the waterskins to the stream.

Gwen stirred. She opened her eyes and sat up. "Where's Lancelot?" she asked brightly. Merlin didn't answer. He pretended not to hear her. "Where is he?" she asked in a quieter tone.

"He's gone," Merlin said simply.

"No," Gwen protested lightly. He could tell that she held back sobs.

"He said that some things can't be," Merlin told her quietly, going closer to his friend. "But he wanted you to know that you have changed him forever." Gwen nodded as if if she stopped, she would break. She turned away from him to hide her tears.

By this time, Morgana was awake. Gwen's three closest friends watched her back as she struggled to deal with this. Finally, Morgana stood and put her arm around Gwen's shoulders. The servant wept into her shoulder.

"We should get going," Arthur interrupted. "We have a long walk ahead of us." Morgana cast an angry look over at him, but Gwen was already recovering. She dried her eyes and collected her blanket into a bag.

This time, they didn't go through the tunnels of Andor. Arthur allowed them to pass over the ridge where the horses still stood waiting. Morgana and Gwen shared a horse, so they all rode back to Camelot in comfort.

Uther ran down the steps and glared at them. Morgana and Arthur dismounted and approached him, whereas Gwen and Merlin slipped away. As Uther admonished, and then embraced, his child and ward, their servants watched from behind a pillar. Over Uther's shoulder, Arthur's gaze caught Gwen's and they both held it. Finally Uther pulled away and Arthur had to look back at him. Without a word, Gwen disappeared. Merlin turned to ask her something and saw her hurrying down the street.

"Merlin," Morgana called. Merlin turned in surprise. She was walking over to him. Arthur and his father had disappeared. When she was close, Morgana asked him quietly when they could next train with magic. "I felt so helpless when Gwen was taken," she explained. "I need to be able to do something when faced with that situation!"

"Of course," Merlin agreed. "And then, we can start on healing. We'll have to learn that together; I barely know anything."

"Does Gaius know that I know about my magic yet?" Morgana asked hopefully. To her dejection, Merlin shook his head.

"No, not at all."

"You need to tell him, Merlin."

Merlin sighed. "Do I?"

"He's your guardian," Morgana reminded him. "He ought to know. Even if he doesn't like it, you've already taught me so much already."

There was one other Merlin knew would hate his and Morgana's arrangement. The Great Dragon.

* * *

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